Up-to-date drama.

Considering I never get a chance to write in this thing I never get a chance to update anyone on the drama in my life. What a pity, I know.

Although the last few blogs have included how wonderful my life and especially my relationship were going, that is all down the drain. Yesterday Kyle decided to break up with me because "he doesn't think I want to be with him." Yes Kyle, you're right. Thats exactly why I spent twenty-four hours in bed balling and barely had the energy to get out of bed and drag myself to school thismorning. IS HE STUPID? I guess all of his friends that he works with (all guys that I knew long before I knew Kyle and I thought were my friends too) have been telling him that I try to get with all of them all the time and I tell them that I don't know why I'm still with Kyle and I plan to leave him for them. WHAT?! Everything was perfect. I feel like everything in my life is out of control right now and I don't know what to do.
On the bright side Kyle changed his mind from wanting to break up to having a "trial-week." I agree, thats the stupidest thing I've ever heard of too. Considering Kyle thinks that I don't want to be with him hes convinced that I'm giong to go wild this week and party every night and throw myself at every guy that walks by. I tried to explain to him that that is not the case and I will spend the week laying on the couch and watching Sex in the City re-runs. I know that I should be happy because this means all I have to do is tell him I still love him at the end of the week, but what if it goes wrong. What if Kyle realizes that this has been the best week of his life and he doesn't know why he wasted so much time with me. What if Kyle is perfectly fine with not seeing me and he decides to make it perminant. For the last month or so it has seemed like Kyle hasn't wanted to hang out as much and he has been annoyed by me wanting to hang out. What if now that he is finally free from that he never wants to go back to the way things were.
I honestly don't know what I would do if that was the case. If Monday comes and I find out that there is no turning back, I'm not sure how I will react. It may not be that much different, I will just spend more time on the couch with my Sex in the City. Honestly, I don't even want to consider that a possibility.

Last night I was going to lock myself in the house and watch tv but Michelle and Hannah came over with Chai Tea Lattes and pizza to force me to be somewhat social and eat. It meant a lot and distracted me from what was going on, kind of. They want me to hang out tonight but I think I will try again to throw myself that pity party on the couch and not invite anyone. Or maybe I will go out. Well see how I feel after school.

After school I get to try to teach myself how to use a snow blower. I'm sure it's not that hard, although it does seem semi-dangerous. Usually my dad snow blows the drive way and I shovel the sidewalk. I would just shovel the entire thing and make myself feel better by counting it as exercize but I don't think my back will like me very much after that. I could call my dad and ask him to give me directions over the phone as to how to use it. I'm not telling my dad about me and Kyle because if he finds out he will hate him forever, something I don't want to deal with if we do get back together. I'm the biggest daddy's girl in the world and if anyone hurts me he makes it his mission to make their life hell.

Well, I should probably go write my rough draft for written comm since I missed the class yesterday due to my excessive crying and jerk boyfriend.