Up-to-date drama.

Considering I never get a chance to write in this thing I never get a chance to update anyone on the drama in my life. What a pity, I know.

Although the last few blogs have included how wonderful my life and especially my relationship were going, that is all down the drain. Yesterday Kyle decided to break up with me because "he doesn't think I want to be with him." Yes Kyle, you're right. Thats exactly why I spent twenty-four hours in bed balling and barely had the energy to get out of bed and drag myself to school thismorning. IS HE STUPID? I guess all of his friends that he works with (all guys that I knew long before I knew Kyle and I thought were my friends too) have been telling him that I try to get with all of them all the time and I tell them that I don't know why I'm still with Kyle and I plan to leave him for them. WHAT?! Everything was perfect. I feel like everything in my life is out of control right now and I don't know what to do.
On the bright side Kyle changed his mind from wanting to break up to having a "trial-week." I agree, thats the stupidest thing I've ever heard of too. Considering Kyle thinks that I don't want to be with him hes convinced that I'm giong to go wild this week and party every night and throw myself at every guy that walks by. I tried to explain to him that that is not the case and I will spend the week laying on the couch and watching Sex in the City re-runs. I know that I should be happy because this means all I have to do is tell him I still love him at the end of the week, but what if it goes wrong. What if Kyle realizes that this has been the best week of his life and he doesn't know why he wasted so much time with me. What if Kyle is perfectly fine with not seeing me and he decides to make it perminant. For the last month or so it has seemed like Kyle hasn't wanted to hang out as much and he has been annoyed by me wanting to hang out. What if now that he is finally free from that he never wants to go back to the way things were.
I honestly don't know what I would do if that was the case. If Monday comes and I find out that there is no turning back, I'm not sure how I will react. It may not be that much different, I will just spend more time on the couch with my Sex in the City. Honestly, I don't even want to consider that a possibility.

Last night I was going to lock myself in the house and watch tv but Michelle and Hannah came over with Chai Tea Lattes and pizza to force me to be somewhat social and eat. It meant a lot and distracted me from what was going on, kind of. They want me to hang out tonight but I think I will try again to throw myself that pity party on the couch and not invite anyone. Or maybe I will go out. Well see how I feel after school.

After school I get to try to teach myself how to use a snow blower. I'm sure it's not that hard, although it does seem semi-dangerous. Usually my dad snow blows the drive way and I shovel the sidewalk. I would just shovel the entire thing and make myself feel better by counting it as exercize but I don't think my back will like me very much after that. I could call my dad and ask him to give me directions over the phone as to how to use it. I'm not telling my dad about me and Kyle because if he finds out he will hate him forever, something I don't want to deal with if we do get back together. I'm the biggest daddy's girl in the world and if anyone hurts me he makes it his mission to make their life hell.

Well, I should probably go write my rough draft for written comm since I missed the class yesterday due to my excessive crying and jerk boyfriend.

My life is uneventful.

As usual, I have nothing remotely interesting to write about. (As you can tell, I'm great at drawing my reader in with my opening sentence.)

Things lately have been pretty boring, although uneventful is nice for a change. I've been going to work at going to school and doing my best to stay on top of both. Theres only about four weeks left of this semester and I'm SO excited. This is exciting not only because I will have a month away from school, but this is the first time in my life that I have started out strong in the beginning of a semester and held strong throughought the entire thing. I'm much more motivated now that the only person I have to impress is myself.

The work sitatuion is still the same. I hate working there but it brings in decent money and I get good hours. I've been trying really hard for the last couple months to get a job at CenturyTel. I was so excited last night because someone finally called me back and left a voicemail. When I called her back she asked me if I was still interested in the position and I said yes. We then went through a ten minute interview on the phone and I was feeling great about it. She told me that I would be perfect for the position and asked me when I was available to work. I told her that I can work anytime after three monday through wednesday, after noon on thursday, and all day friday, saturday, and sunday. She paused, apologized, and then informed me that these hours wouldnt fit with what they had available. My heart sank. She told me that I should call if my schedual changed and she would do the same if something came up. My whole day yesterday was ruined.

My friend told me about an opening at Legistics Health that I think I'm going to check out. I need a job that has a stable pay and stable hours. NO more waitressing, please!

Me and Kyle are doing good. I'm trying to convince him we should move in together, NOW. We've always talked about some day living together but we were just going to put it off until my lease was up. Now that I have someone sub-leasing for me, LETS GO! At the same time we keep fighting because he says that he needs his alone time. We don't even hang out that often! And so I'm worried that if he thinks were together too much now he's really going to lose it if we live together. I assured him that if we lived together I would definitly want to see him less anyways. ha

Now I've already ran out of things to say, the teacher is only two people into the confrences, and I'm last on the list. Wonderful.

I'm so bad at this!

Once again, I havent written in here in forever. I'm terrible at updating this thing. I'll probably get like, 25% of the points for it. BLAH

I feel like I'm just getting by these days. I know that if I even think about letting myself fall behind in school because I'm getting lazy I wont be able to get myself back to where I want to be until next semester. I've already worked too hard this semester to let everything go but I'm having so much trouble staying motivated. I'm doing the bare minimum but somehow still getting decent grades. Actually, I think I might be doing terribly in written comm. and marketing principals. I was increadibly surprised when I went to my advisor meeting with ebner and she told me that I'm a smart kid and I'm doing great. I was convinced I was going to get there and she was going to tell me that I have no future in marketing and I should just change my major while it's early. Just 19ish more days of class. That's not that bad. I can do it!

I cannot wait until tomorrow. I'm sad because I'm not going to the concert but the game will be exciting enough. I asked off for work about three months ago so I could be sure to watch every minute of the game. I'm going to be increadibly let down if the Bears lose and down about 60 dollars. As long and Orton plays I think we'll do good. Grossman couldn't quarterback to save his life. I think we would be better off playing like, eighth string than playing Grossman. And we need to get our defense, or lack there of, together. Oh well, I'm feeling confident in my team.

Well I probably should write more but I have to go to work so thats all for now. I'll attempt to update sooner this time.

Long time, no post.

Sorry for the lack of update lately. Being so busy all the time and trying to pack so many things into just one day finally caught up with me. Now I'm working on getting back on track after what was almost a week off last week.

Things are going pretty good for me right now. I found someone to take my spot in the appartment so I moved back into my dad's house. He's staying in his appartment up in sparta so he's only home Tuesday and Friday. It's not like I'm just living there for free though, he's making me pay $200 a month. Things with me and Kyle are also going great. Ty is finally completely out of my life and I couldn't be happier. Yesterday was me and Kyle's one year. After class I ran a few errands and then went over to his house. We hung out there for a while and then drove to the movie theatre in Onalaska. That movie theatre is a lot smaller than I remembered. The movie we went to see was Saw V. It was a good movie and all but didn't live up to what everyone said it would be. After that we headed to the Olive Garden and had dinner. I would have much rather gone to my favorite restaurant in Sparta, Angelini's, but we didn't really feel like driving that far. The food was still great and I can't wait to eat my leftovers after class. After dinner we went back to my house and watched a couple movies and fell asleep on the couch. Although nothing extremely exciting or out of the ordinary didn't happen, the night was still perfect. I'm so glad that things are finally the way they REALLY oughta be.

Stupid relationship problems.

So me and Kyle will be reaching the one year mark at the end of this month and this morning, we broke up(for about a minute.)

To explain what happened this morning I would have to write millions of pages detailing everything that has happened in the last six months, but I'm sure neither of us have that kind of time. Instead, let me sum things up for you; around the end of march me and Kyle were having serious issues. I felt as though he never wanted to hang out with me and began to hang out with my friend from work, Michelle(yes, the one I now live with.) Along with Michelle came a great group of friends that I quickly became close with. As things often work out, as soon as I found something else to do with my time, Kyle wanted to hang out. Our fighting quickly switched from him not having enough time to me not having enough time.

At about the same time I met a kid name Ty(not the one I live with) and kind-of, sort-of started to have feelings for him. While me and Ty were getting to know eachother his best-friend Nik was falling for Michelle. Things progressed and I had made up my mind; I was going to break up with Kyle for Ty. For the next twenty-four hours I cried non-stop and refused to get out of bed. Ty came over to make sure I was okay and the very sight of him repulsed me. I knew what I had to do. Kyle called me because I had broken things off very suddenly and wanted to meet up to talk. We drove around in his car for about an hour(so awkward!) and talked things out. We decided to stay together. I told Ty that I had decided I wanted to be with Kyle and that was all there was to it. Everything should have ended happily ever, however; Ty is the most stubborn person I know.

I didn't want to let this get in between the great friendship me and Ty had established (impossible!?) so I chose to ignore what had happened. Me and Ty were going to be friends and JUST friends. It was some time in April when me and Kyle broke up for those twenty-four hours and for the last six months it has been a constant battle with myself. I have asked Ty to give up on me time and time again but he refuses. I thought that for some reason all of this was going to end when he moved to Richland center for college but things only got worse. He calls me every day, often twice a day, to see how I'm doing and what I'm up to. I don't mind any of this because hes a very important person in my life and I enjoy talking to him. He still asks me to be with him every day and I tell him that I'm with Kyle and then he gets mad at me and declares that hes never speaking to me again. Ten minutes later he calls me back and tells me that he didn't mean that. All of this has definitely added to my level of stress lately but I have tried to just push it away and ignore it.

On the day of the Oktoberfest parade Nik took a picture of me and Ty with my arm around him. Cute picture. Just a picture. POSING FOR A PICTURE. Nik posted it on facebook with a caption that read " the way it oughta be." When I saw the picture last night it made me angry that Nik would post it but I closed the window and forgot about it and went to sleep. Before class this morning I was on the computer talking to someone and Kyle signed on. He said hey to me and then requested a direct connection. I thought this was wierd but accepted and waited to see what he was sending me. All of a sudden the picture of me and Ty popped up and Kyle asked me what was going on. I can't write most of what he said to me on here as it is not "classroom appropriate," but you can imagine. I still had fourty-five minutes before I had to be in class so I rushed over to Kyle's. We fought a lot and he asked me what he's supposed to make of all of this. I understand where he's coming from but wish things didn't have to be like this. Kyle told me that he can't take how much I talk to him knowing the kinds of things that he says to me. Kyle ended it for a minute but then took it back.

Although I know things are going to be weird for a while I'm kind of glad that this happened. Situations like this force me to open my eyes and think about what is really important to me. If Nik and Ty were as good of friends to me as I thought they were they wouldn't be doing things to end a relationship I'm in that makes me happy. I don't want to lose Kyle and I will not let something like this happen again.

Sorry to bore you with my relationship issues but I had to write about something and it's the only thing on my mind right now. On the bright side the entire thing was NOT deleted when the window randomly closed. I probably would have given up on life at that point!

Free-write?

I sat with the cursor blinking at me on the screen for a good ten minutes trying to figure out what to write about when I decided to just start writing and see what happens. I've only posted about four times and I've already ran out of things to write about. I was going to continue to complain about how it seems as though my life has gotten even more hectic but people are being forced to read this and I feel obligated to mix it up a little bit. Be prepared for some very random thoughts floating around my mind. I do apologize is some complaining sneaks in there, after all; I am a femal and it's what I'm good at.

I suppose I could start with the first thing I did this morning (after picking up Michelle at seven in the morning. Opps, there it is already!) After stopping at Kwik Trip to get some coffee Michelle and I headed to the La Crosse center to see Obama speak. We started walking and quickly realized that this was not going to be a short line. As we were about to walk all the way around the park to get to the end of the line I heard my name, and luckily enough saw Corey motioning for us to jump in by where he was standing. Once the speech finally started I was engulfed with the man's amazing ability to speak. Obama's words came out almost poetically as he promised us all hope of a better future. Don't get me wrong; I had planned on voting for Obama all along, but after hearing that speech it seemed almost impossible for anyone to vote for another canidate. While we were leaving I got stopped by an interviewer for the La Crosse Tribune. The woman from the Tribune asked me how I felt after hearing the speech and I proud to talk about how excited I am to vote in the next presidential election. Many people my age have told me that they couldn't care less about who becomes our next president. This just baffles me! How can someone not care about something that will determine how the rest of their lives along with the lives of their future children will go.

Now I'm exhausted so I think i'll head back to my house where my internet doesn't work because one of Ty's wonderful friend broke my router :)

AHH!

Normally, being the procrastinator that I am, I would put this post off until the very last minute that it must be done. Continuing the practices of procrastination was my plan, but now seems like a fitting time to write (or in this case; vent!) Actually, now that I think about it my last free-written blog was me venting. Maybe I should rename my blog with something including my nack for complaining.

Moving on to the real issues, I feel as though my world is spinning at a million miles an hour right now. Every single day I wake up, go to school, go to work, do homework, and then go to sleep. I realize that this is the schedual of nearly every college student, and that I should probably get used to it considering I have four more years it ahead of me, but I don't want to! During the weekends I get so stressed attempting to see my friends whenever I'm not working that I usually end up ditching at least three plans. Next thing I know, It's back to the old "school-work-homework-sleep-repeat" routine. I realize that I should cut down on working before I get burnt out but I need to pay rent and get my shopping fix. And I'm sure you're probably wondering why I'm not sleeping considering it's one in the morning and I'm complaining about no time to relax, but how am I supposed to relax with a list of the things that I need to do running through my head at a million miles an hour?

Worst of all, the very last place on earth that I would ever want to be is work. I understand that that's why it's called work and they're not paying me just for fun, but I have never hated a job as much as this one at the La Crosse Family Restaurant. I have been working there for nearly nine months and have been planning my quitting speech since day one. The place is absolutely crazy. The cooks, along with the dish washers and bussers, are all straight out of mexico and speek almost no english. When they do manage to gather a couple words that we can comprehend it is only to tell us of how worthless we are. The most aggrivating of them all are the cooks, who regularly shot-gun beers while cooking. Once drunk and angry, they like to throw our tickets away when they're mad, or simply throw our food at us. Next we have the two owners, cousins from Macedonia. One is a crazy, egotistical man that imports drugs from Europe to sell to his imigrate employees. The other is a fairly smart business man besides the fact that he involves himeself in the drama of his employees. Moving on the the last group of people that I work with, the waitresses, we have a whole new group of crazy to deal with. At least four or five of the waitresses are deeply in love with the owners and spend all of their time trying to steal them away from their wives. All of the morning waitresses like to leave the night waitresses notes on how terrible of a job we do. On really good nights, such as tonight, they stay after to inform us of the fact that we are bringing down sales because we have such terrible customer service. There is one waitress that I like and hang out with outside of work, named Tric. Finally, we have the customers. Many of the customers I enjoy greatly, some of them are even the main factor that keeps me there. On the other hand, many are at least seventy-five years old and still think that a dollar and fifty cents is an outstanding tip. I'm sure at this point you are wondering, as am I, why I have put up with this place for nine months. After careful consideration and getting threatened to be beaten up by one of the bussers, I have decided it is finally time to find a new job. I honestly think that if I attempt to balance the stress of school, friends, a boyfriend, and working in the worst place in the world any longer my head will in fact explode.

Now that I have finally vented I'm going to make a second attempt at some much needed sleep. Or just go tell Ty to have his stuff out by the morning because I'm angry and hes promised me three times in less than twenty-four hours that he would do the dishes right away. ha.